Pearls + Poem: Deep Diving Treasures (haiku in 18 variations)

Sorry I’ve been away for so long. I wrote this post on March 6, but it’s taken me this long to publish it!—procrastination has me in it’s grip. I hope to post (again) on a somewhat regular schedule, thanks for reading my blog.

I finally started reading Substack after routinely ignoring their newsletter emails. I’m thinking about posting there, but something about it feels off to me—my intuition senses that my poems or opinions, won’t be welcomed there. Do they even allow poetry? WordPress has censorship issues, but I don’t anticipate jumping ship just yet. Substack seems to have a well-read, sophisticated audience of readers—but I’m not convinced that that’s a good thing. I’ve noticed that pretentiousness and virtual signaling are often married together and I find both extremely repulsive. Intelligence isn’t necessarily intellectualism; snobbish exclusivity is an obvious sign of an inferiority complex.

The following featured article that I read on Substack was spotlessly well-written but it annoyed me, to the point of inspiring me to write this post. I almost left a comment but didn’t want to unintentionally offend the author or his applauding audience. It provoked thought, which is a mark of good writing, so I’m ironically glad I read it. My favorite aspect of https://tolstoyan.substack.com/p/youth, was the ending—the very last line “to be the person he’d become, to move his cut-out face one spot forward, to live this life until there was no more of it to live.” because it concludes with a glimmer of wisdom.

The writer’s timeline, focused on an ego-driven goalpost—of publication within a certain age, (which was measured against the youthful ages of his favorite writers). His ongoing angst over not meeting this quest—to be officially acknowledged, “published” (vs humbly self-published), reminded me of the phrase, “Youth is wasted on the young” which led me down a tunnel of discovery. Surprisingly George Bernard Shaw inspired, but never actually said this well known phrase, https://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/09/07/young/

“Youth,” he replied, “is the most beautiful thing in this world—and what a pity that it has to be wasted on children!”

George Bernard Shaw

I think youth is universally overrated, because it’s obsessed over and focused on at the expense of the rest of our lives. The prized possession of youth, actually reflects immaturity—a lack of awareness and inexperience. Youth is too often spent frivolously, it’s merits of: physical strength, virility and skin deep beauty is expected/demanded/wept over and troublingly perverted. We’ve been programmed to be spoiled narcissists, blind to the sense of entitlement that we require—to have it all. The advantages of youth (raw energy and the naive awe of innocence), are gradually, wastefully exploited until all that’s left of it is a tiny sinking speck on a bleak horizon.

If youth only knew and age only could

Robert Louis Stevenson

When we’re young we desperately want to be older, because that represents power and freedom, that is until we realize what that includes—all of the disappointments, betrayals, baggage, responsibilities, bills. Why are we never satisfied with what we have, when we have it? We’ve been hypnotized to want what we aren’t, brainwashed to force open the gates to a false concept of success. The grass is not greener, that’s spray painted astroturf, you don’t want the troubles that come with it either.

When youth is finally retired, woefully allocated to the ghostly graveyard of envy and regret—we grasp for the pseudo miracle face cream or worse yet, plastic surgery. If there was a pill for reactivating youth, we’d race to gulp those down.

All that glitters is not gold*

William Shakespeare

*In 1175 French monk Alain de Lille wrote “Do not hold everything gold that shines like gold”, however, it was Shakespeare who coined the current version of the phrase and brought it into public consciousness. https://nosweatshakespeare.com/quotes/famous/all-that-glitters-is-not-gold/

Ironically the wisdom gained through the trial and error suffering of growth—which is what aging truly is, is lost to most that cling to mainstream notions of success. Growing old is literally (and hopefully representative of) maturation—the development of a one of a kind, precious, individualized treasure; a hard won, exquisite pearl.

I love the pearl of maturity that developed in me, which began: as a nuisance, an invading irritant, grit of sandy dirt that entered my rough and homely cloistered dome shell, settling silently into the castle walls of my protected sanctuary, my glazed shining Mother of Pearl inner boundary.

Retrospect is genius

Serene Grace
*(inspired by “Hindsight is always 20/20” by Billy Wilder

The grit poked my vulnerable body, my salivating muscles pinched and crowded to accommodate the invader. My insulated world was involuntarily coerced to change, it integrated the painful monster, spun it layer by layer into an orbed masterpiece. The pearl is hardship transformed, evidence of resilient survival, a treasure of iridescent beauty, a hidden gift. The layers upon layers of coated endurance is my trophy.

Life’s lessons perfectly polished me through the brilliance of aging—into a transformed treasure. The journey from reckless youthfulness to sage level wisdom is a journey that was only achievable through compassionate grace. God’s magnificent genius design of the passage of time—is His invisible gift to us. I’m grateful for my life’s lessons, wrinkles and all, and there’s so much more to learn.

Deep Diving Treasures

Deep diving treasures
Pearled world, inner and outer
Beauty surrounds us

Thank God for my life
Mistakes, sorrows, all of it
Made me realize 

Let go, keep striving 
Living is about growing
Not competition 

Not vanity’s hiss
Not fear-based, stealing, hoarding
Experience is the prize

God loves empty hands
That share what they give for love
God lives in our hearts

Joy we felt in youth
All the possibilities 
Idealism 

It wasn’t wasted
Compared to eternity 
Our lives just started

Don’t think back and weep
Reform hardship into pearls
Exquisite beauty

We’re relatively 
Still babies: babbling, crawling
In Heaven we’ll fly

Can you imagine?
We’ll laugh at our old troubles 
No more enemies

Don’t ever give up 
No matter how darkness screams
Pop that fake bubble

Demons’ mind puzzle
Misery loves company
Send shit back to hell

Where rage sits enthroned
That’s not where you belong, child
Heaven’s treasure’s yours

Shut the world’s lies out
Pray God’s truth will be revealed 
There’s nothing to fear

Regret’s an alarm
A reminder, not a stick
Stop beating yourself

Keep changing, growing
Everything you thought you lost
Is waiting for you

In sweet Paradise 
All your loved ones are singing
Waiting to hug you

All will be revealed 
Understood and purified 
Welcome home Beloved.